Too much partner dancing messes with you. That's what I think, and maybe Portland is starting to think I'm crazy, because I like showing up to tango practicas and walking and walking alone. it's a little obsessive and a little meditative, but to me it seems like the Pandora's box of partner dancing. I heard that Steven Mitchell told someone that to be a great dancer, you have to stop changing your dancing for each of your partners. Carrie Whipple tells me to dance like I'm not dancing with a partner, and somehow when that happens, the strength and clarity of the lead is present. It seems counter-intuitive and rude to dance as if there were no one there, but it's necessary in the beginning. It seems like a relationship to me: to create something between two people, each one must be self-sufficient and able to stand alone. Only when this is present can people join together to create something elevated. And that's not to say that this is how everyone dances. Many people use their partner as a crutch (I'm including myself in this), but in superlative dancing this is not the case. We must be responsible for our own bodies and our own dancing.
We must also be open and receptive to our partner. This is where I need to work on myself. When you approach a partner, can you be not only stable in your body, but open as well? That is to say, can you give yourself to your partner? Keeping the chest and pelvis open and facing your partner is difficult, as non-dancers might infer from the emotions and actions associated with those parts of the bodies. It is simple to push and pull, but subtle and difficult to lead. Leading is about yourself first and foremost. This is part of the reason we use the word lead/ follow. A leader in anything has just as much responsibility to practice the doctrine he preaches, as do the flock. The lead position may be elevated in some sense, because the lead initiates and guides the dance, but each partner must remain equal. Or else, there is only mess.
David Gray, "babylon" - "I've been a fool to open up my heart to all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule."
