I would be having fewer existential quandaries if some of you were to Follow my Blog. There is a button on the right.
That being said, I probably wouldn't click it either.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
on dancing
Too much partner dancing messes with you. That's what I think, and maybe Portland is starting to think I'm crazy, because I like showing up to tango practicas and walking and walking alone. it's a little obsessive and a little meditative, but to me it seems like the Pandora's box of partner dancing. I heard that Steven Mitchell told someone that to be a great dancer, you have to stop changing your dancing for each of your partners. Carrie Whipple tells me to dance like I'm not dancing with a partner, and somehow when that happens, the strength and clarity of the lead is present. It seems counter-intuitive and rude to dance as if there were no one there, but it's necessary in the beginning. It seems like a relationship to me: to create something between two people, each one must be self-sufficient and able to stand alone. Only when this is present can people join together to create something elevated. And that's not to say that this is how everyone dances. Many people use their partner as a crutch (I'm including myself in this), but in superlative dancing this is not the case. We must be responsible for our own bodies and our own dancing.
We must also be open and receptive to our partner. This is where I need to work on myself. When you approach a partner, can you be not only stable in your body, but open as well? That is to say, can you give yourself to your partner? Keeping the chest and pelvis open and facing your partner is difficult, as non-dancers might infer from the emotions and actions associated with those parts of the bodies. It is simple to push and pull, but subtle and difficult to lead. Leading is about yourself first and foremost. This is part of the reason we use the word lead/ follow. A leader in anything has just as much responsibility to practice the doctrine he preaches, as do the flock. The lead position may be elevated in some sense, because the lead initiates and guides the dance, but each partner must remain equal. Or else, there is only mess.
David Gray, "babylon" - "I've been a fool to open up my heart to all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule."
We must also be open and receptive to our partner. This is where I need to work on myself. When you approach a partner, can you be not only stable in your body, but open as well? That is to say, can you give yourself to your partner? Keeping the chest and pelvis open and facing your partner is difficult, as non-dancers might infer from the emotions and actions associated with those parts of the bodies. It is simple to push and pull, but subtle and difficult to lead. Leading is about yourself first and foremost. This is part of the reason we use the word lead/ follow. A leader in anything has just as much responsibility to practice the doctrine he preaches, as do the flock. The lead position may be elevated in some sense, because the lead initiates and guides the dance, but each partner must remain equal. Or else, there is only mess.
David Gray, "babylon" - "I've been a fool to open up my heart to all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule."
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Community College
There is little more inspiring to me than an excellent community college and the passions and inspiration it generates in a community. Portland Community College is certainly that. Everywhere I look, there are people, old and young, pursuing activities to make their lives better. This is far from the ivory tower I've spent my life in. Not to say anything against the ivory tower, but the people you find in community college have experienced the hardships of life, and they've mostly turned to education for a tangible bettering of their lives. This is different in boarding school and private colleges, where we studied because we grew up in an environment that taught us education would make our lives better. We abstractly accept this, but most of us have not experienced life without education. It reminds me of everything good about education to be here. It reminds me of what I always thought education must be - a tool to live better. And not in an abstract, liberal arts, student of philosophy, sense of the word, but real lasting spiritual, emotional, and economic improvement.
I'm taking two Pilates classes, modern dance, hoping to get into Ballet, and I might just add Afro-Cuban hip hop, because hey, why not? The days are already turning to a non-stop whirl of coffee and dance. i still haven't registered for that Art History class I intended to take. Maybe in the summer, but right now, Pilates feels more applicable. It is one of the few things, in fact, that feels necessary.
My treatment of social dance is subtly shifting. the excitement is wearing away, and something else is emerging. Something playful, something less desirous of impressing - something that i own, something silent that is waiting to expose itself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZINUHjEDv00
I'm taking two Pilates classes, modern dance, hoping to get into Ballet, and I might just add Afro-Cuban hip hop, because hey, why not? The days are already turning to a non-stop whirl of coffee and dance. i still haven't registered for that Art History class I intended to take. Maybe in the summer, but right now, Pilates feels more applicable. It is one of the few things, in fact, that feels necessary.
My treatment of social dance is subtly shifting. the excitement is wearing away, and something else is emerging. Something playful, something less desirous of impressing - something that i own, something silent that is waiting to expose itself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZINUHjEDv00
Monday, March 29, 2010
blogging from the Laurelthirst
I had a private lesson with an older dancer, who dances all the time, but doesn't train or know technical vocabulary. Brenda has said I'm a young dancer, lacking much of the musicality of a well-seasoned dancer, and my student today was the complete opposite. Dancing to Howlin' Wolf, she was busting out, naturally using African techniques like call and response and traditional jazz movements. Of course she never knew the names of what she did, but it was fascinating to work with her. In many ways she is a better dancer than I, but I was the one instructing her. I realized that I can teach many subtleties of body movement and help her make her movements clearer and crisper. This will help her partner dancing, but as for solo dancing, she was whooping me. She got the spirit.
It's always good fun to ask an older woman at a bar to dance, because they've generally been moving to this music since before I was born. There is much to learn, grasshopper.
It's always good fun to ask an older woman at a bar to dance, because they've generally been moving to this music since before I was born. There is much to learn, grasshopper.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
teaching
I drove up to Olympia in the morning yesterday, where Brenda and I taught three classes on blues and lindy hop. We then each taught two privates, made it to the local dance, and drove home late that night. I woke up this morning at 9:30am to teach a two-hour private to two local dancers from Portland. They mentioned a new blues dance with an older crowd that might need some instruction, so I might have some more ins to teach.
It's nice to be making a little money from all this working. I feel like I will almost be able to cover my rent using proceeds from teaching dance. That's a liberating feeling. Furthermore, the more I teach, the more ideas and offers I get to teach. I was considering what a Balboa workshop with Brenda could look like in Olympia. I'm also considering starting a solo Charleston class in Portland. If I advertise everything myself, I can get cheap studio space, and I would only need 3-4 people to turn a profit.
Brenda told me that professionalism and persistence go a long way in this job, and I am starting to sense that. There are many factors in getting hired to teach. 1) people have to like you and be comfortable around you. This means we have to be presentable and friendly in all moments of dancing, at times a difficult task. 2) people have to see you as an authority. This is not solely a product of your own knowledge, but perhaps even more a product of how the community views you. Thus there is a certain momentum to teaching. Once you begin teaching, people accept you as an authority, and you are free to teach more, but before you gain the status of having some authority, it's difficult to get hired. 3) This is where persistence seems to come in. People want to get better, and they want to look cool. So if I just keep offering my time, again and again, at an affordable rate, and can give people what they want, I suppose I'll be able to make this work.
I've heard it for years from my mom and other teachers - Teaching is lesson planning, teaching is preparation. So when I am already discounting my teaching to the lowest prices I can, I have to work out my lesson plans which is tons more work than I'm being directly paid for. I feel a little bit like when I worked as a cook. I agreed to work for a salary of almost nothing, and I proceeded to regularly work 60 hour weeks. My hourly rate comfortably settled at around $3-4/ hour, because of all the excess work. That's like my life now.
It's nice to be making a little money from all this working. I feel like I will almost be able to cover my rent using proceeds from teaching dance. That's a liberating feeling. Furthermore, the more I teach, the more ideas and offers I get to teach. I was considering what a Balboa workshop with Brenda could look like in Olympia. I'm also considering starting a solo Charleston class in Portland. If I advertise everything myself, I can get cheap studio space, and I would only need 3-4 people to turn a profit.
Brenda told me that professionalism and persistence go a long way in this job, and I am starting to sense that. There are many factors in getting hired to teach. 1) people have to like you and be comfortable around you. This means we have to be presentable and friendly in all moments of dancing, at times a difficult task. 2) people have to see you as an authority. This is not solely a product of your own knowledge, but perhaps even more a product of how the community views you. Thus there is a certain momentum to teaching. Once you begin teaching, people accept you as an authority, and you are free to teach more, but before you gain the status of having some authority, it's difficult to get hired. 3) This is where persistence seems to come in. People want to get better, and they want to look cool. So if I just keep offering my time, again and again, at an affordable rate, and can give people what they want, I suppose I'll be able to make this work.
I've heard it for years from my mom and other teachers - Teaching is lesson planning, teaching is preparation. So when I am already discounting my teaching to the lowest prices I can, I have to work out my lesson plans which is tons more work than I'm being directly paid for. I feel a little bit like when I worked as a cook. I agreed to work for a salary of almost nothing, and I proceeded to regularly work 60 hour weeks. My hourly rate comfortably settled at around $3-4/ hour, because of all the excess work. That's like my life now.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Disintegration
The quadraceps roll the leg outwards. The calf rolls the foot back in. The hamstrings counteract the quadraceps. And the glutes somehow pull it all tight, adding the final mmph. Sometimes, just sometimes, my knee tracks correctly over my foot, my hamstrings keep the proper amount of tone to add a pulse, and my foot rolls flat.
But most of the time this doesn't happen, and my knees feel like they're disintegrating.
But what I've been doing all day, and I do mean practically all day is practicing and laying the groundwork for my life. This morning after finishing my Oregon driver's manual, I passed my test and legally became an Oregon resident. Then I met with my friend Abby, and we practiced ballet for an hour or so, interspersed with coffee and breakfast. Dropping Abby off, I raced over to Brenda's to lesson plan and practice some Lindy Hop, only to come back home to find Mindy ready to practice more Lindy Hop. Meanwhile, I've been correcting my leg alignment all day. This is the reason my legs and knees are so exhausted.
Earlier this evening, I helped Brenda teach the drop in class at the swing dance and then social danced until deciding I should really go home.
But most of the time this doesn't happen, and my knees feel like they're disintegrating.
But what I've been doing all day, and I do mean practically all day is practicing and laying the groundwork for my life. This morning after finishing my Oregon driver's manual, I passed my test and legally became an Oregon resident. Then I met with my friend Abby, and we practiced ballet for an hour or so, interspersed with coffee and breakfast. Dropping Abby off, I raced over to Brenda's to lesson plan and practice some Lindy Hop, only to come back home to find Mindy ready to practice more Lindy Hop. Meanwhile, I've been correcting my leg alignment all day. This is the reason my legs and knees are so exhausted.
Earlier this evening, I helped Brenda teach the drop in class at the swing dance and then social danced until deciding I should really go home.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
On the Posture
Everything begins with the posture. The worldview, the relation to partner and self, the energy we send out, the way we receive what comes in. The posture is the essence of this. It seems peculiar at first. Why should my slouching shoulders affect my worldview? Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of Aikido, said, a good posture shows a good state of mind. He also said the essence of Aikido is contained within greeting someone with a smile. This is also why you hear of samurai who have stood facing each other for minutes and minutes - because only when the stance is compromised is there an opening to strike. The man with good posture who can greet people with a smile has defeated all things that could defeat him, and those things are always internal.
Someone once described good posture to me as the way a 3 year old holds their body. Upright, shoulders back - approaching the world head on without fear, without arrogance. After we learn to stand, we learn bad posture. And in this posture is somehow contained all our fears, aversions, and insecurities.* I can feel my arms close in to protect my chest. The shoulders bend in and forward for the same reason. The head droops to avoid the eye of passersby.
It becomes ever more clear to me that without good posture, superlative dancing remains impossible. We must correct our posture (and meanwhile, our worldview as well) to dance well. This is why dancing is hard to me. To fix the posture, one is forced to confront things inside. To walk well, much less complete a swingout, seems a daunting task in the face of fixing the posture. But it seems that once the posture is correct, the task is finished. After that, dancing is merely learning rhythms, patterns, getting stronger. These latter things have clear paths to attain. They are comparatively simple to fixing the posture and dissolving stress. When I used to ask Brenda how to relax tense parts of my body, she would say, just stay aware of it and breathe. IN fact, this is the way to improve, and maybe this gets down to the essence of why posture is difficult. To fix the posture, we must not do. We have to sit still and focus. It's easier to lift weights and practice steps, because these things can be used to distract the mind. When we sit, we must focus, and this becomes evident. When we act, we should focus, but it's easy to forget.
It is the essence of not-doing - of using the breath and focusing that I must master. Then I think I will have good posture and find the way of least resistance through this world. And oh yeah, I'll probably be a pretty good dancer too.
*The enigmatic "somehow" of Lincoln's second inaugural. "These slaves constituted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that this interest was somehow the cause of the war." As my professor David Blight said, it is the nature of that "somehow" that has been argued over ever since.
Someone once described good posture to me as the way a 3 year old holds their body. Upright, shoulders back - approaching the world head on without fear, without arrogance. After we learn to stand, we learn bad posture. And in this posture is somehow contained all our fears, aversions, and insecurities.* I can feel my arms close in to protect my chest. The shoulders bend in and forward for the same reason. The head droops to avoid the eye of passersby.
It becomes ever more clear to me that without good posture, superlative dancing remains impossible. We must correct our posture (and meanwhile, our worldview as well) to dance well. This is why dancing is hard to me. To fix the posture, one is forced to confront things inside. To walk well, much less complete a swingout, seems a daunting task in the face of fixing the posture. But it seems that once the posture is correct, the task is finished. After that, dancing is merely learning rhythms, patterns, getting stronger. These latter things have clear paths to attain. They are comparatively simple to fixing the posture and dissolving stress. When I used to ask Brenda how to relax tense parts of my body, she would say, just stay aware of it and breathe. IN fact, this is the way to improve, and maybe this gets down to the essence of why posture is difficult. To fix the posture, we must not do. We have to sit still and focus. It's easier to lift weights and practice steps, because these things can be used to distract the mind. When we sit, we must focus, and this becomes evident. When we act, we should focus, but it's easy to forget.
It is the essence of not-doing - of using the breath and focusing that I must master. Then I think I will have good posture and find the way of least resistance through this world. And oh yeah, I'll probably be a pretty good dancer too.
*The enigmatic "somehow" of Lincoln's second inaugural. "These slaves constituted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that this interest was somehow the cause of the war." As my professor David Blight said, it is the nature of that "somehow" that has been argued over ever since.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Monday
Sunday was a long day, just like last week. I went to my jazz class to get warmed up for the day. After butchering the choreography (I was saved by the bell.), and then inhaling some food, I hurried over to Blues Lab (a local group of Blues dancers who meet once a month and give feedback to each other and to the instructor). I arrived late by the clock, but was relatively early. The Portland crowd continued to trickle in for another 30 minutes. After the class and feedback session, I skipped the potluck and headed down to Vega, the hip hop studio. I was a little late to class, but I stayed for three sessions.
Finally, ending the night at BarefootBlues, I realized that I hadn't stopped all day. The funny thing is that I'm not sure that my dancing improved very much yesterday. i had a meeting with a lady I think I mentioned before. She does energy work, and I am trading dance lessons with her. She did some Reiki- sort of stuff to me for a while and we talked about energy and chakras. I left much calmer, but very much aware of the excess tension I have been carrying deep inside. I have the closest thing ever to a tension headache that I've ever had. It's a dull pain deep within my neck at the base of my cranium. I don't have very much mobility in my neck today either.
I'm wondering how to balance my life at this point. I came to Portland wanting to study Aikido along with dance, and in the weeks that I've been here, that has fallen to the wayside of my many nightly adventures. I think it high time to start gauging the quality: quantity ratio in my life of dance.
I begin to see why people fear losing their passion for their love in going professional. I'm still far from that, but I am taking a rest day. Tomorrow I'll practice some lindy hop (and maybe waltz) with Rachel.
Finally, ending the night at BarefootBlues, I realized that I hadn't stopped all day. The funny thing is that I'm not sure that my dancing improved very much yesterday. i had a meeting with a lady I think I mentioned before. She does energy work, and I am trading dance lessons with her. She did some Reiki- sort of stuff to me for a while and we talked about energy and chakras. I left much calmer, but very much aware of the excess tension I have been carrying deep inside. I have the closest thing ever to a tension headache that I've ever had. It's a dull pain deep within my neck at the base of my cranium. I don't have very much mobility in my neck today either.
I'm wondering how to balance my life at this point. I came to Portland wanting to study Aikido along with dance, and in the weeks that I've been here, that has fallen to the wayside of my many nightly adventures. I think it high time to start gauging the quality: quantity ratio in my life of dance.
I begin to see why people fear losing their passion for their love in going professional. I'm still far from that, but I am taking a rest day. Tomorrow I'll practice some lindy hop (and maybe waltz) with Rachel.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Rebellion and Deception
My body and soul are rebelling in the days since my birthday. It may be the fact that just before my birthday I missed a few days of dancing. Yes, I social danced, but I did not train. I missed my hip hop classes, I didn't practice blues with Drew, I didn't really do anything except move all my stuff from here to there. And today, I had planned to go to Pilates at 8am before my beginning ballet class, but my body did not want to move from the bed. I sat around listening to my playlist that was waking me up and wondering why I felt so dreadful. Is it the portable mattress I'm sleeping on, did I not get enough sleep, did I not eat enough yesterday?
I finally made it to ballet class about 5 minutes before it began, but my morning was spent in silence, observing my body struggle with itself. The teacher reminded us to smile, and I wonder if it was not pointed at me. I do feel better after ballet, though my back is still stiff and I really need to stretch my legs.
The rebellion of the soul - it almost seems silly to write it here, because even as I set out to write about it, I feel my resolve and determination returning. The fear presents itself: You just turned 26. What business do you have training in dance? This is an art for the young, and you won't really be prepared for another 7-8 years, retirement age for most professional dancers. Furthermore, if you don't follow the course of a professional dancer who joins a company, etc., what will you do? Teach social dance? Well we all know that road... no money, no health insurance, no security. For God's sake, Jonathan, you're trying to make a living off a low-income dance community in a recession-striken town by not charging any set fees.
But on the bright side, I still have savings that I am willing to rely on. It's hard to know how long they will last with the constant drain of rent, food, and dance classes... I suppose I should do some math and really figure this out.
How to deal with these issues? I think of Gen. George B Mclellan and Gen. Robert E. Lee. Mclellan was, as Shelby Foote likes to say, a superlative planner. He could drill and drill and prepare and prepare. He built a massive force, larger and arguably more disciplined than its Southern counterpart. And he waited and prepared for everything to be just right. However, things never were just right. Some unforeseen circumstance always presented itself, and Mclellan would never wage an all-out attack if there were a shred of doubt in the outcome. Compare him to Lee. Lee was a brilliant strategist - he bobbed and weaved, used feints and trickery. He used what he had, instead of what he wished he had. Lee seemed to understand Sun Tzu's claim that the art of war is deception. Lee accepted the fact that all things cannot be known - neither to himself nor his opponent. Mclellan assumed all things could be known both by himself and by his opponent. Lee was free to act because of this necessity of partial ignorance, and Mclellan was paralyzed by a futile hope for omniscence.
It seems that I must distract myself from the fear and rebellion in my soul with a continuous onslaught of stretching and exercises, because if I keep dancing, I can forget that this all seems hopeless at times. I will deceive myself, and just maybe be free.
I finally made it to ballet class about 5 minutes before it began, but my morning was spent in silence, observing my body struggle with itself. The teacher reminded us to smile, and I wonder if it was not pointed at me. I do feel better after ballet, though my back is still stiff and I really need to stretch my legs.
The rebellion of the soul - it almost seems silly to write it here, because even as I set out to write about it, I feel my resolve and determination returning. The fear presents itself: You just turned 26. What business do you have training in dance? This is an art for the young, and you won't really be prepared for another 7-8 years, retirement age for most professional dancers. Furthermore, if you don't follow the course of a professional dancer who joins a company, etc., what will you do? Teach social dance? Well we all know that road... no money, no health insurance, no security. For God's sake, Jonathan, you're trying to make a living off a low-income dance community in a recession-striken town by not charging any set fees.
But on the bright side, I still have savings that I am willing to rely on. It's hard to know how long they will last with the constant drain of rent, food, and dance classes... I suppose I should do some math and really figure this out.
How to deal with these issues? I think of Gen. George B Mclellan and Gen. Robert E. Lee. Mclellan was, as Shelby Foote likes to say, a superlative planner. He could drill and drill and prepare and prepare. He built a massive force, larger and arguably more disciplined than its Southern counterpart. And he waited and prepared for everything to be just right. However, things never were just right. Some unforeseen circumstance always presented itself, and Mclellan would never wage an all-out attack if there were a shred of doubt in the outcome. Compare him to Lee. Lee was a brilliant strategist - he bobbed and weaved, used feints and trickery. He used what he had, instead of what he wished he had. Lee seemed to understand Sun Tzu's claim that the art of war is deception. Lee accepted the fact that all things cannot be known - neither to himself nor his opponent. Mclellan assumed all things could be known both by himself and by his opponent. Lee was free to act because of this necessity of partial ignorance, and Mclellan was paralyzed by a futile hope for omniscence.
It seems that I must distract myself from the fear and rebellion in my soul with a continuous onslaught of stretching and exercises, because if I keep dancing, I can forget that this all seems hopeless at times. I will deceive myself, and just maybe be free.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Ballet, no.. tango, no.. lindy hop
I was speaking with Abby last night, one of the girls I would have competed with at BluesSHOUT. Abby is a former model, ballet dancer, and comes from a missionary family in Japan (I believe.) Anyways, Abby proposed that she should start teaching me the basics of ballet, and after a little thought, I wondered why I hadn't asked her before. I guess it simply never occurred to me. So next week I plan to start working with Abby, and my goal for tonight is to build a portable ballet barre out of PVC, so I can practice at home. And go figure, but Abby dances Lindy Hop too... I never knew because I only see her dancing blues, but I think we'll start practicing our Lindy Hop as well.
I have a private lesson in tango tonight. I'm going to Carrie Whipple, one of the top instructors here in Portland. It will be my first tango private since I started dancing back in 2004 in Buenos Aires. I'm in a very different place now, and it will be interesting to have a private class with someone besides Brenda. I have grown accustomed to having super detailed explanations from working with Brenda, and let's face it, much of the partner dance world can't give you that.
Last night was my first night not dancing! I was fairly proud of myself. Of course, dancing stayed on the brain. I went walking around the slightly cool Portland night, naturally using this time to work on my posture and walking, trying to roll my foot flat through the ground, engage the inside muscles of my legs, use my stabilizing muscles to straighten my neck.. the list goes on. Each time I would come to a darkened store window, I would use it as a mirror to correct myself. After walking for 30-40 minutes, I found myself near the Lindy Hop dance where a Seattle band was playing that night. I decided to go in to take a look, not quite sure why or what was drawing me there. I didn't even have my dance shoes.
I started just watching people dance, noticing how the room bumped and moved to the music, and then I saw two dancers really moving well. It was nice watching them get sucked up into the energy of the music, and not only that, but creating a corresponding series of movements to the music- adding and layering on top of the music; making you hear breaks and riffs that you weren't noticing before watching them. It was rhythmic, and after seeing that dance, I knew that I had seen what I had came for, and I went walking home to eventually meet Abby and discuss ballet.
I have a private lesson in tango tonight. I'm going to Carrie Whipple, one of the top instructors here in Portland. It will be my first tango private since I started dancing back in 2004 in Buenos Aires. I'm in a very different place now, and it will be interesting to have a private class with someone besides Brenda. I have grown accustomed to having super detailed explanations from working with Brenda, and let's face it, much of the partner dance world can't give you that.
Last night was my first night not dancing! I was fairly proud of myself. Of course, dancing stayed on the brain. I went walking around the slightly cool Portland night, naturally using this time to work on my posture and walking, trying to roll my foot flat through the ground, engage the inside muscles of my legs, use my stabilizing muscles to straighten my neck.. the list goes on. Each time I would come to a darkened store window, I would use it as a mirror to correct myself. After walking for 30-40 minutes, I found myself near the Lindy Hop dance where a Seattle band was playing that night. I decided to go in to take a look, not quite sure why or what was drawing me there. I didn't even have my dance shoes.
I started just watching people dance, noticing how the room bumped and moved to the music, and then I saw two dancers really moving well. It was nice watching them get sucked up into the energy of the music, and not only that, but creating a corresponding series of movements to the music- adding and layering on top of the music; making you hear breaks and riffs that you weren't noticing before watching them. It was rhythmic, and after seeing that dance, I knew that I had seen what I had came for, and I went walking home to eventually meet Abby and discuss ballet.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Plotting and planning, broke, and angry at drunk drivers.
Let's start with my rant. What's the deal with drunk drivers? And more specifically, what's the deal with drunk drivers driving down NE Dekum St. near 30th hitting my cars? I questioned Geico why my insurance premium was doubling when moving to Portland, and they cryptically explained that I now lived in a CITY. Well, in the past week, my car was clipped - dented and scratched, giving a knock to the side view mirror. But last night, Brenda's car was all-out smashed. The entire left back side was knocked in, and the car shifted forward about 20 feet up onto the curb. Both of these incidents were hit and run. I guess Geico knows. So my car joins the scarred, tattered armada of Portland's automobiles, and Brenda's... well I don't know yet.
Last night I made an Excel spreadsheet to lay out all the dance classes in Portland that I want to take. A good number are at Portland Community College. This is one of the most affordable options, but it depends on me getting my OR Driver's license within the next days, and I just failed the driving test, so I have to go back on Monday. Does anyone else know whether you should follow 15, 20, 25, or 30 feet behind a slow-moving vehicle? And a better question, can any of you judge those distances by eye? If I can get it all sorted, I'll be taking 2-3 beginning ballet classes (3-4 days/ week), along with daily Pilates. All this on top of my hip hop classes I've been going to.
Also, out dancing last night, I was given a card by a lady who hadn't partner danced in 30 years. It's amazing when you go to a bar or a jazz band and ask some of the older ladies to dance. The story is very frequently the same. In Virginia, one woman told me she hadn't danced like that in 80 years! When I dance with someone like that, I remember what partner dancing is all about: listening, communicating, creating. It feels good. The lady from last night wants to do a professional trade in energy work. "Shaman" is among them. I'm going to work with her next week.
On a final note, I need some income. I'm shaking the metaphorical couch cushions of the local scenes. I will work for almost anything just to get my name out. I need some private students.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
a private lesson
I had my second ever private lesson this afternoon. It's exhausting to teach, and on top of that I keep forgetting to eat.
New Cities
Portland vs. Seattle. Seattle vs. Portland. Seattle has the Lindy Hop. Don't get me wrong: Portland's got it going on as well, but Seattle HAS the Lindy Hop. Blues, on the other hand, is a more even split, however the communities feel so different. The people who come, the way they relate - it all felt new and different, after only a few weeks in Portland. Even the connection was different. It was hard to dance tonight. I found myself sitting on the sideline - watching and absorbing. This has lately become my habit at social dances.
I analyze every movement in the bodies. I want to understand those movements. I want to know exactly what is happening. I realize as I become more experienced that every error and everything correct begins with the posture. The posture tells a story about how you relate to your partner, to the world, to yourself. And it's in the posture and the arms and the touch that these people tell stories. But it's something like staring at the unencrypted matrix. It doesn't make much sense at first, and then slowly the secrets begin to unfurl, and you start to think that you can understand how it feels to dance with that person.
But all I really know is that my feet are TENSE.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
performing letdown
We found out today that the routine I just came to Seattle to rehearse was not submitted within the deadline for BluesSHOUT. This means that we can't perform it, and that I no longer have much motivation to make it all the way down to Austin. Every cent I spend now makes me think, "...but this could buy a dance lesson."
On the brighter side, I'm in Seattle and practicing with Topher. We took off some clothing and practiced in front of mirrors, and when dancing in my skivvies, I realized that I started doing some of Al Minn's moves from the diaper dance. Al Minns was one of the old great jazz dancers, and there is a short clip of him dancing blues in a documentary called the Spirit Moves. He comes out in a diaper - moving and gyrating - all his body integrated in a wonderful and sensual example of male dancing. It is one of those dances that so severely impressed itself on me that when I am dancing in my skivvies, I begin to do some of his moves unconsciously.
Dancing at Burn Blue, a local Seattle blues dance tonight. Still I haven't gone a night in the Northwest without dancing.
Monday, March 15, 2010
New House
I moved into a new house today. My landlord and owner is nice. I haven't met the other two ladies who live there yet. Mostly I'm revelling over the fact that it is incredibly close to everything. Once my bike is here, I'll be able to pedal everywhere I want to go... all the ballrooms, etc.
Later in the afternoon, I had coffee with Rachel, a long-time dance instructor in Portland. She wants to perform with me and train in all sorts of things. I'm excited, because she brings so much experience with these things, and I have performed only maybe twice. It's honestly a little overwhelming all the people I want to work with. Tomorrow I'll go to Seattle to rehearse for a performance at BluesSHOUT in Austin. And I might, just might, teach my first (no, second) private lesson.
Tonight I'm checking out a tango class with the instructor I want to study under, and before that starts I'm listening to the musical musings of the Kung Pao Chickens, a local gypsy jazz band. this means that my writing is being broken up by the occasional Charleston. For anyone who ever visits Portland, and not only dancers, I highly recommend the LaurelThirst Pub on Monday nights.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgOXAKNDdOo
Later in the afternoon, I had coffee with Rachel, a long-time dance instructor in Portland. She wants to perform with me and train in all sorts of things. I'm excited, because she brings so much experience with these things, and I have performed only maybe twice. It's honestly a little overwhelming all the people I want to work with. Tomorrow I'll go to Seattle to rehearse for a performance at BluesSHOUT in Austin. And I might, just might, teach my first (no, second) private lesson.
Tonight I'm checking out a tango class with the instructor I want to study under, and before that starts I'm listening to the musical musings of the Kung Pao Chickens, a local gypsy jazz band. this means that my writing is being broken up by the occasional Charleston. For anyone who ever visits Portland, and not only dancers, I highly recommend the LaurelThirst Pub on Monday nights.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgOXAKNDdOo
Dancing like a pro
I trained all day today. 12:30-2:30 jazz class, danced with Drew for a little over an hour, 4 classes at a hip hop studio, and then I went to a local dance and danced for another 3 hours or so. I am exhausted. My back is tired, feet are tired - I just felt like sleeping in the car. That is something Brenda used to always do in her days of crazy training.
The best thing about today was that I really started to feel my body well. I was starting to relax into my stretches, and moving fluidly. The other good thing is mid-way through the day, as my muscles that I overuse became exhausted, I was forced to use my body more efficiently. I never got so tired that I lost my form, so I learned much today. My back was exhausted social dancing, but I just focused on keeping my posture strong and not letting people pull me down.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
The professional Ballet
I went to see the NW Dance Project's Spring Show last night. Talk about some inspiration. One of their dancers, Andrea Parson(s), would sometimes get that slow melting look, as though her body were dissolving into the air.
And then I should have gotten some more sleep, because the time sprung forward, but I was out until 3:30am, make that 4:30am dancing at a house party. This morning I'm off to a jazz class, then blues practice, hip hop, and social blues.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Ballet
A blog seems like a novel idea to me. I'm not entirely sure who will want to read this beyond my immediate family, but let's say this is for them. The short story of my life: I was educated in private schools, receiving a good education. I graduated from Yale last May with a degree in Political Science, but about 4 four years ago, I fell in love with social dance. Now I'm here in Portland, OR trying to make it as a dance instructor, continuing my training, and drinking lots of good coffee.
Today was my second ever ballet class. It's really basic. "This is first position. This is a plie (?)..." But something about ballet reminds of the French term for an orgasm. "Le petit mort" is what I'm told, meaning the little death. It seems to me that that title is a very apt description of my experience in ballet class, and mind you, this is not a long class - Only 1 hour. Still, somehow ballet manages to make you feel all sorts of strange and new unheard of muscles. Not to mention how you are misusing all the muscles you've developed overly-dependent unhealthy relationships with. And posture.. pull that belly in, chest up, shoulders relaxed and rolling back. Stretch those arms.. elbows down. Good lord, I feel exposed to a vast unknown ocean. This must be something like what Columbus felt setting out for India looking for spices. I see the final product. In fact, I think I'll go to a ballet tonight (my first one), but how to get anywhere near there feels so far away when I can't even keep my knees over my toes as I bend down in pliet.
The exposure to all these new muscles has provoked an emotional response that I have only felt a few times before. Some sort of psycho-somatic phenomenon forces me to deal with personal issues as my body is exposed to new and frightening positions. I've managed to stay in control, keeping my demons in the closet so far. But one never knows what dreams may come.. what may be lurking in the darkness.
So ballet is fun. And I hope to start taking it 5 times/ week within the next two months or so.
Today was my second ever ballet class. It's really basic. "This is first position. This is a plie (?)..." But something about ballet reminds of the French term for an orgasm. "Le petit mort" is what I'm told, meaning the little death. It seems to me that that title is a very apt description of my experience in ballet class, and mind you, this is not a long class - Only 1 hour. Still, somehow ballet manages to make you feel all sorts of strange and new unheard of muscles. Not to mention how you are misusing all the muscles you've developed overly-dependent unhealthy relationships with. And posture.. pull that belly in, chest up, shoulders relaxed and rolling back. Stretch those arms.. elbows down. Good lord, I feel exposed to a vast unknown ocean. This must be something like what Columbus felt setting out for India looking for spices. I see the final product. In fact, I think I'll go to a ballet tonight (my first one), but how to get anywhere near there feels so far away when I can't even keep my knees over my toes as I bend down in pliet.
The exposure to all these new muscles has provoked an emotional response that I have only felt a few times before. Some sort of psycho-somatic phenomenon forces me to deal with personal issues as my body is exposed to new and frightening positions. I've managed to stay in control, keeping my demons in the closet so far. But one never knows what dreams may come.. what may be lurking in the darkness.
So ballet is fun. And I hope to start taking it 5 times/ week within the next two months or so.
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