Normally, as things change in my body, I hardly notice the differences. It takes a lot of meditation and self-awareness to see the distinctions between today and yesterday. Mostly I am just ever-present (or maybe not present) in the moment that's happening. I tend to see things as they are not, rather than how they are, or even how I would have them. This is probably the real issue: I see my body in terms of comparison rather than for what it is. The consequence of this is that I never really see my body.
I was looking at my arms extend in the mirror today, and like always, I can't really see the difference between now and then. But I have noticed that I like the extension of my arms. I used to think they were too long, and maybe that is why I chronically shortened them. "Chicken wings" as Brenda would say. Now, I think it's beautiful to watch them extend. I've learned to stop clenching my shoulders when I lift my arms - further lengthening my extension, and making my shoulders appear more defined. More and more, my body is becoming a place I like to be. It's not always that, but speaking historically, this is quite a feat.
Lately, I feel strong.
