As I continued cooking in the next weeks, I started to give some thought to Buddha's middle way. He seems to say we are all bouncing against extremes. We are joyful then depressed, etc. Likewise my cooking was a skill I learned through meeting extremes. Each time, my dish would be a little bit off, and I would correct my technique for the next time. I thought a lot about my dishes. I compared my past experiences, recipes, and instruction to amalgamate a dish.
Somehow in the past two weeks something shifted. Hardly noticing it, I stopped thinking in terms of past experience. I looked at a dish, or raw ingredients, or the content of my fridge, and thought, "What now?" I continued this line of questioning from the market through the preparation of the dish, so that my cooking became a series of, "What nows?" And I can't believe it, but my cooking is flawless. I've bought the perfect combination of things at the market without any plan; I've used everything in my pantry/ fridge; the cooking and seasoning has been just right. I'm not doing things the same as I was taught. I'm pulling unexpected things out of my pantry. I'm left feeling something isn't quite right until I track down that last ingredient.
I think I finally found that state Thomas Keller eloquently writes about, when you pay the closest attention to the details. Cooking in this sense is a deep awareness. This may adequately explain why mass-produced food is consistently unhealthy. It is prepared with minimal awareness. What is it about attention to detail that makes things come alive? The hand-wrapped gift, the beautiful and comfortable home, the kindest of words. I think it is the fact that the perfect action requires deep awareness and deep love, and then these qualities somehow imprint themselves onto the world around us.
