Drew and I had our first blues practica and class series last night. I'm glad some people came out, but we were pretty close to not breaking even. The classes went fairly well, and given the minimal numbers in attendance, we changed the format some, gearing it to meet specific needs as we saw fit. We'll keep plugging away and hopefully get those numbers up. We should have our real flyers printed soon, and I expect them to help.
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People ask me why I'm not going to a blues festival coming up that all the dancers will be attending. It will be a big deal, full of competitions and performances. Yet I cannot feel drawn or connected to it. Everyone gets really worked up and excited about these things, and i do too, but that is exactly why I want to stay away. My dancing feels so delicate and in its formative stages. It feels like a tree that one has to be careful to nurture. To protect it from shocks is the gardener's main objective. I used to travel to lots of dance events. All over the country and the world, but I found that my dancing was not really improving drastically. Everything was fast - a whirlwind, but I never found the time to drill my basics and create a solid groundwork.
People also ask me why I don't have a cell phone, and I think the answer to this as well as the first question is that I'm determined. I see an end, and when you see an end everything else vanishes. It as though you've become the center of your reality (which I suppose one must essentially be, but that fact becomes apparent when determination takes hold.), and everything becomes a tool to use. Set rules and logic are bent under this lens. Henry Ford's quote feels so true: "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."
I haven't posted this for a few days. I kept thinking about it, editing it, not sure what I really think. My blog entries are a way of clarifying my thoughts. So some of this is all still hazy in my mind. But I do know that something has changed.
