I had a bit of a freakout last night. I got really depressed, feeling like I couldn't find a point in anything I was doing. And then today I was feeling pretty good but not great.
Meanwhile, I have been scrounging for food. I was mostly eating canned things and the same stew from the past 4 days. So yesterday I went shopping. Shopping is becoming quite a production. I went to the co-op for veggies, eggs, and grains; to New Seasons for meats and some cream; and then to Fred Meyer for canned goods, more grains, and some habanero chiles.
This afternoon, I had a nice salad while slow roasting a pork shoulder. That shoulder finished in mid-afternoon, and I made myself some pork tacos on corn tortillas with green peppers and local greens. And what do you know, my mood entirely shifted. Not only did I become more coherent, but I was happy and energized. My mood was down because I was hungry. Well not quite hungry, but not sustained. I realize that my body is becoming more of a ferrari than a civic. It craves fresh food - veggies, salad, meats, not to mention ice cream. Mac and cheese, fries, simple grains - none of this is cutting it. I can be satisfied and no longer hungry, but my mood turns sour, and I can't work or focus.
It's all in the food.
